true friends don’t judge each other
they judge other people
Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?
THE BIBLE SAID ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM BOUGHT 60 WATERMELONS
I can’t wait for winter because that’s when all mosquitoes die and go to hell where they belong